Paranoia?

Why bother about whining and crying about old things and the past,
when u can put your energy on other things?
Stand up for yourself and make things happen!



I knew exactly what to do now.

So from beeing depressed and low in all ways that a person can be,
To becoming a girl with her aim set, and a high will for payback, the battle started.

All my doctors had been tossing me aside, not caring or simply ignoring me so far.

I wanted the mystery solved, and i wanted it fast. I wanted it now. 
Wanted to know why my body was acting like it was 90 years old.

But the best thing about this situation, is that now i had backup.

Now i had some power i did not had before, i had people that belived in me.

Ignoring all over.

When i first contacted my doctor after all this drama was over, i got ignored.

When i called and wanted to speak to the doctor straight away i got ignored.

Feldt like the doctor KNEW what was comming, knew that i was pissed off.

As my doctor did not answere the phone, I booked in an appointment via the reception.

"Fastest available" time my doctor had was in 30 days. -Totally bullshit if you ask me.
I said that it is urget matter, that i needed doctor fast as hell.

So i got a "emergency time" 28 days later instead. -Good service huh?
By now i got angry yet again, got ignorance in a crazy level.


I realized that it was a coward.

Seemed that the only way to talk to my doctor was to wait 28 days.

And 3 days before it, i got a letter. I got really surprised that i got a letter from Doc.

"Ive got a notice that you wanted to book an appointment, so please call and make one"

Nicely signed - Doctor - .. I had no clue what that ment at all, so i called the reception.

And then the thunder hit me. The appointment i booked almost a month ago, was gone.

And the "next one available" was yet again, 1 month away. More waiting.
Clearly my doctor did not want to see me. My doctor clearly was a coward.
My doctor wanted me to give up. Wanted me to wait longer.

But my doctor had wrong this time.

Backup is always good to have.

More then me was angry about the way my doctor ignored me.
I would not want to be in my doctors shoes after that point.
Reported by several people. Reported for more then one reason. A list of Reports.
Probably so many bad reports that a new resume would be pointless.
My new doctor that i got proved straight away that my old one sucked!
My new doctor found out what was wrong with me after 3 weeks,
something that my old one didnt try to find out in over 1 year.

New start.

After got thrown in the psychohouse, treated like crap, and accused to be lying,

I have no will to try sob and cry over a lost year. 
I know the fact that my problems could have been solved straight away.

And i know that with a different doctor, this would have been painless.
But then i cant change the past. I cant change anything.

Im just so happy over beeing better now.

Happy beeing heard. Happy beeing alive.


I know that my future now seems alot brighter then it did last summer,

And that i know that giving up is pointless. Always keep fighting.

If your doctors are giving you a hard time, change doctor.

Dont let them get you psychically, dont let them down you.

Find someone that listens to you, and stick to them.